Five Things I’ve Learned in Five Years

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June 10th, 2011 was a beautiful day. It was the day I married my best friend and life partner. I wouldn’t change anything about that day, despite how things have changed over the years. I am more in love and a better person since I met my husband. He has shown me more patience, honesty, kindness and trust than I could have ever imagined.

For twelve years he has stood by my side through both thick and thin. Not just during life struggles but even with my own battle with my weight. Never once has he made me feel ugly, embarrassed or any less beautiful than when I met him. He continues to support me with all my endeavors, and I am forever grateful for being blessed with having him in my life.

I have learned many valuable lessons through the years, lessons that have shaped me as an individual but most importantly, lessons that have helped keep our relationship wholesome. I thought I’d take a few minutes and share what has worked for us.

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Communication

I feel like this is the biggest and most important part of any relationship. Whether it be family, a friend or your partner, good communication is always key. I have not always been the best at spilling my guts when it comes to how I’m feeling. I hold a lot of what I feel inside and when I’m most vulnerable, I let it out and then some. It has not been effective in any way to making me feel better in the past, because things are said that were not meant. I have made a huge effort to speak up about things before they get to a point where this can happen. I’ve never had a problem talking with my husband, he is always willing to listen, but I did have to learn to actually listen and accept his advise. A relationship is a two-way street and the most successful communication comes from both parties being fully engaged.

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Respect

Life can be very stressful at times. Between different schedules, work, finances and other personal matters, tempers can get heated without intention. At least mine can. I married such a gentle soul, I am definitely the hot pepper of the relationship! With that in mind, no matter if my husband chose to marry me, this whole package, hot pepper personality or not, I make the choice every day to respect him. He makes it easy, but I choose to respect him because he deserves it. We all do. Every day I try to show him kindness, love and appreciation. I choose to respect his decisions and desires in life, because there is no I in this team. He is a vital part of our life, and I am so fortunate for all he does for us.

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Support

Life can change so quickly and a lot of the time it’s not by choice but by outside forces. The best relationships can get severely rocked by these circumstances and you must always lean on each other, supporting one another as best you can. Life is never going to be picture perfect, but wait, what is that? Life is what you make out of it, and it’s your own kind of perfect no matter what struggle you may have. The best relationships come from those who survive a storm together. At times, one may need to support the other more but it’s the constant give and take that makes a relationship survive and flourish. I know that my husband is my rock, but I’m a tough girl too. We lean on each other when needed and sometimes we can just stand tall separately. The most important thing you can do, is let your partner know that you are there all the time, if needed.

 

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Friendship

Friendships in life come and go. Some stay the long hall but a lot of relationships are found during certain seasons in your life. People relate to those who are going through similar phases at certain times more. There is nothing wrong with these types of friendships, because you met for a reason. I believe in order to have the best relationship with your partner, you need to be their friend as well as their lover. I 100% feel that my husband is my best friend and in conversation, he feels the same as well. We have the best times together, whether it be talking, going out, or just sitting quietly on our couch. He is my absolute favorite person and one of the best friendships I’ve ever been blessed to have.

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Laughter

Life can be so serious sometimes, and difficult. We all experience loss, rejection and uncertainty throughout this journey. I completely agree that the best medicine is laughter and it’s even better when you can laugh together! Nothing can perk up a bad moment faster than an inside joke or a funny thought. I think it also keeps a little spark in your relationship to be a little quirky and sarcastic. There is a lot of spice in this life, you just have to remember to be present and use it!

I am by no means a relationship expert and I do not claim to be. I just know what has been working for us for these years, and I wanted to share. What works for us, may not work for you but that’s ok. Find your own values, learn the lessons that make you a better person and/or couple. Most importantly, do what makes you happy!

I am thankful every day for what I’ve been given, and I don’t take my husband or our relationship for granted. I cherish every moment I have with him and hope we have some happy, healthy years ahead!

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I wish the same for you!

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